TOP STORY: Momma Hicks and New Official Page
When you read this, it'll be Friday. I just got back from Mother Hicks and my internet computer is where my parents are sleeping. I'm sitting down, listening to the MC 900 FT Jesus track on american records' '95 sampler, trying to think of something clever to write (Correction, I'm now on Jesus and Mary Chain, remember them? I knew this totally freaky chick who was into them, but that's not the point, so anyway, I've had like 2 hours of sleep all week and I'm on the edge of fucking mad (God, they're making their guitars scream like demented gerbils in heat), so anyway, since this is unofficial I'll state my real opines: Mother Hicks will kick ass or crash like a five-dollar go-cart. How do I know? I just know. [CD switches to Lords of Acid, slight moment of silence observed for Bayless] I'm going to go mad, tho. I was so freaked cause Ms. G was hanging over the bord like death and I'm al -ready nervous as fuck about my cues, so what am I supposed to do, eh? Of course, this is all because the fucking offical web page is due Tuesday and I've got like two English projects to do and massive Eco shit to start on (A preview, Korean war to Rumble). Anyway, I'm busting my ass on the real page, and stuff is coming, but this is like the Alpha. It's not great, but it'll work. I just hate all the fucking restrictions the school puts on us. It's like they make a webmastering class, then hand us mangoes and tell us to peel them. At least Coach Espinosa teaches it. He's such a badass, he's like the Shaft of computer/coaches, anyway, just pray for my sanity, sleep and academic, success. Wow, that was a rant.Album Review: american records' 1995 sampler
Another old record (I don't think I'll ever review a new one, at least until Lee Rocker makes a third godlike solo album). So, anyway, this is in the armpit between mid-alt and the punk/metal revival and slightly before goth. It's just one of those crazy little albums. Bands w/ good tracks: Danzig, MC 900 FT Jesus, Jesus and Mary Chain, and Lords of Acid. Rap, post-Corgan alt techno, punk, power-pop, death metal, grunge, it's pretty much all that. There's this one song, Saturday Night by Lordz of Brooklyn where these four guys who sound like reject metal singers scream rap lines over bad funk samples. I've made it a test of strength to see how long I can stand it, my best is 2:20. Then Danzig has this track that sounds sort -of like Queen with less creative guitar lines (It's act -ually pretty good considdering their other material). There's also these guys called MC 90 FT Jesus who like recite meaningless poetry in hushed whispers over looping keyboard beats (Think Matt Lamb freestyling stuff that Spence would say if wasn't goofy, except even slower and quieter), it's easily the best track on the album. Oh yeah, this pop guy Julian Cope has this song with this real cool sugary accoustic riff, and then there's God Lives Underwater which is like one of those "bands" that play "music" on "concerts" on the Disney Channel mixed with really bad sampling that screws up any concept of tonality. All in all, it's an odd album, the kind of album you randomly happen upon 'cause you're insanely bored, but it is almost an hour of music that makes little sense (Real 3 A.M. shit). For amusing me during this most boring night I give it: SCORE:
of 5 penguins.
Surf Ninjas Front
Sadly, the SNF has suffered a major blow, dastardly forces (Mikey and Jenn) decreed that Hook and Bill and Ted's Excellent adventures would be our movies. That sucks. Everyone knows that real movie night value comes from movies where white peo -ple play Asian roles and early-nineties pop culture collides like molecules on moonshine.Feat of Strength #3
The Feat of Strength competition is a test to see how ballin' my Thespian brothers are. Each week's winner (The first to mail me the correct/best answer) will recieve a nominal prize. This week's prize is: An I Love Steven Balthazar T-Shirt This week's feat is: Make me laugh, I'm so stuck in a pit of mediocrity and English homework, that I just want you to make me laugh again. If you don't appease us, we'll say Ni a second time. (You have until next 0600 Thursday GMT (Or midnight Wednesday, here) to mail me the answer.Until Next Week... Have fun and give it up to the Dutch.
